THE PROMISES OF RECOVERY

Chapter 12

EVERYTHING IN DO!

Waking From a Dream

I don’t usually remember dreams, but “The Journey That Never Was” says God speaks to us through dreams. This morning I awakened from an intense dream and I still remember the part that my Guidance said to write in this chapter. So, I’m on my computer to write, before I forget.

This chapter is about Divine Order (DO), and the dream certainly is related. I was living in the big home where Van and I lived, in Encinitas, California, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I know there was a lot more to the dream, but the only part I remember had to do with me sweeping great big, long cobwebs and spiders from the high ceilings and walls. I’d also been watering the house plants that were so dry the water wouldn’t even absorb into the dirt, and I had to keep adding more water, as I spoke lovingly to the plants, apologizing for neglecting them so long.

Van was there too and we were waiting for our next door neighbor to come pick us up.

Finally, a group of people arrived -- adults and children -- that I did not recognize, and the family dog, Rascal, was barking at them, so there was chaos and confusion, as we were getting the dog out of the way.

And then I woke up.

Putting My Life in Order

Well, I don’t have to take long to figure that one out. Obviously, there is part of my life that I have neglected, and I’m finally reaching a time when I can start taking care of it: getting rid of the cobwebs and watering the plants.

The next door neighbor, Bob Davey, a scholar of Judaism, symbolizes that part of my life that I still miss: a spiritual connection; someone to share these deeper insights with, but not my husband; Van was there with me. He had something to do with keys that I was trying to get organized.

It seems the dream has something to do with my realization that my course, “Saying ‘Yes’” is still in a state of chaos, confusion and incompletion, and I’ve been asking God to help me get it completed.

In my mind, Van holds the key, because I can not move forward without him and his computer expertise. Everything relating to this project, and others, has been neglected and dried up.

Of course, this is not true. God is my Source, Guidance and Fulfillment and I’m awaiting His arrival; in other words I‘m waiting for God to show me what to do. But, in the meantime I’m cleaning out the cobwebs and watering the plants.

When I sat down to my computer, I noticed that the desk is cluttered with papers, notes, and unfinished projects, which I removed. Now, I have the task of sorting, filing, and releasing. This is true with other projects that need similar attention, including the stacked boxes I haven’t tackled, since moving.

It seems like a good time to enter into Divine Order, so this should be a revealing chapter, as God moves me through it, starting with the “Journey That Never Was” class tonight. It feels as if I am moving deeper into my recovery, and I will take you with me.

But First, I Have More to Say About …

But first, let me complete the information about the Power of Order. It’s color is avocado, olive or dark green (sometimes all three are used when I’m coloring my mandalas, because they remind me of the order in nature, with those colors being the harmonizing colors of trees, shrubs, bushes, grass and such. Sometimes I include light or lime green, the colors of  the Power of Strength). The disciple is James the Less, sometimes called James the Younger, which I think is a kinder name. There is a lot of confusion around this disciple, allowing me to conclude maybe he’s called “the lesser,” because less is known about him. On the other hand, because of this confusion and obscurity, H.S. Vigeveno in his book, “Thirteen Men Who Changed the World,” calls him the “unknown apostle.”

The location is the solar plexus, which Dr. Knapp expanded to the digestive system, skin and bones; the skeletal system.

The subjects I include are order, balance, harmony and timing (of the clock, days, months, years, seasons, eras, eons, or lifetimes). When I make a poster for Order, I always include a clock, calendar, and/or scenes of nature, or anything that relates balance and harmony. One time I used a picture of a symphony orchestra. Music, dancing and the ballet conveys the idea of harmony and balance too.

“Natural, Normal, and Necessary

The following poem, by Doris Starr Hammons, a member of our Writers Support Group, is wonderful for this chapter on Order.

Natural, Normal, and Necessary

No, not depressed. Sad.

In spite of it all, I am grinning inwardly.

What a pity! Time will not turn back! The year’s are gone

Good times. Bad times. Gone! The clock will not go back/

And BABIES. Seven of them. That has been best!

And the saddest. Their memories make me weep.

Aha! The memories remain. Soooo time does not erase love!

Now they are grown. Our lives in sync. Sometimes not.

Their paths are away from me.

That is natural, normal, necessary.

That is called life.

I am older and my path is away from them.

That is called death.

It is natural, normal and necessary.

Keep grinning old girl

The bright light of God’s Love is next!

Isn’t that a wonderful poem? I spent several days looking for the List with her phone number, which God finally revealed to me, and over an hour, on the phone, talking with Doris, while asking permission to use her poems in my writings. She is a warehouse of story-telling, and I urged her to publish a book of her stacks of poems, promising that I would buy one. She said she might get it done for Christmas for her family. Last year she completed a self-published book about her life in time for Christmas gifts to her family. I cherish her unique writings, and I loved hearing her stories on the phone. It’s too bad that her health condition keeps her from writing more, and often she is not able to attend our Writers Support Group, so I’m delighted when she makes it.

All In God’s Time

I shared my dream at the “Journey that Never Was” class, but got no feedback. Several others shared their experiences, but most saved their sharings for the smaller circles. It’s obvious that many are having transforming experiences in their relationship with the Voice of God/Holy Spirit; some are literally radiating.

I spoke with Brian, who had offered to check out my website, but he hadn’t had time to do it, as yet. “All in God’s Time,” I replied.

I know that I can’t force or make anything happen, until and unless it is God’s Time. That includes my efforts at finding help with my computer and website. For instance, I called about an ad in the “Senior News” and talked to a nice man who is willing to help, free the first hour and on a donation basis after that, with computer problems, but he doesn’t know about websites. Besides that, he takes the Light Rail from Hillsboro, which is about a two-hour ride, and then transfer to a bus, and then walk six-blocks. I don’t think so; but he said he would help on the phone, if needed.

In the meantime, my daughter, Dottie, came over to help. She removed cookies and defragmented (don’t ask me what it means, but it’s necessary), so everything in DO! Together, we also fixed the Power file on my course, with quite a bit of difficulty. I’m asking God “Why?” It isn’t completely fixed, because I need to delete the old file that didn’t work. But, at least we have a new one in place.

She also fixed my mouse so the left side works, and she contacted the company about my scanner, so we wait for a reply from them.

The highlight of the day, as it relates to Order, is that she brought to my attention that the Recycle Bin needed to be emptied. I was about to say, “Go for it,” when I noticed the name of some files that might be the missing website pages. But, I went into overload, by this time, and asked to wait until my head was clearer, before deleting them.

This is pretty exciting, because this is being done in November, the month for Renunciation or Releasing (which will be discussed in Session 11), and it will loosen up a lot of space, in addition to creating more Order. However, “all in God’s Time.” I’ve learned that I can’t force these things, and I sure wasn’t ready to push forward with it, as I stared at pages and pages of stored files.

Yet, I can feel God’s presence at work, and everything is in DO.

A Deal I Couldn’t Refuse

I probably should tell this story in the chapter for Wisdom, about manifesting and creating, but it happened as I’m writing Order, so it will be told here.

For a long time I’ve wanted a record player, and had decided that one of those old-fashioned kind with a CD-player and radio would be good. They sell for about a hundred-dollars and when I asked at Radio Shack the manager said the last one had been sold, but he would order one for me and have it delivered to my home. As he continued talking, he seemed to be making a deal I couldn’t refuse, which would make the item much less expensive, but I’m so programmed to wait, or ask someone else, such as a husband, that I said I’d think about it.

However, before I left, I heard God saying for me to get it. Again, a matter of giving myself permission to have something I really want and trusting God to manifest. In the meantime, another customer came in, and I became concerned about completing my transaction in time to catch the shuttle bus back home.

Finally, the manager returned to me and I said I would like to buy the record player, so he called it up on the computer, and laughed, as he said, “It’s much less than I thought.” He’d said that if I signed up for a Radio Shack credit card, I could buy it in 90-days, same as cash, so I agreed. By the time the transaction was completed, it cost me less than $72.00. Whew! Talk about manifesting. The only problem being that when he called in the order, he was told they wouldn’t deliver it to my home, so he said he would pick it up himself, but I would have to get it from there. I figured that my son, or someone, would be able to do that for me, so we completed the transaction, while racing the clock. I finished and was on my shuttle at exactly 11:30, pick-up time. Everything in DO!

Taking Care of Business

Order continued to prevail, as the days went by. For instance, I took time to update my checking account on-line, and noticed that the phone bill’s automatic withdrawal was much higher than usual for the previous month. I called the phone company and was told that I had made long-distance phone calls, which I found when I looked at the bill. Since I am not signed up for long distance, on this phone, I insisted that I had not made the calls. The clerk insisted that I had, so I asked if it’s their policy to make the customer wrong, no matter what, and I requested to talk with a supervisor.

The same thing happened, and I insisted that I had not made the calls. At first, I had thought it was my stepmother’s phone number, but I finally realized it wasn’t, so the supervisor looked up the caller and announced that it’s unlisted. After more insistence on my part, she offered to have someone in Repairs check the line, and I agreed. She said the person, Bonnie, would call me back. I explained that I had to leave in an hour, but she assured me I would hear from her.

No call from Bonnie, so the next day I called the number and discovered that it’s a FAX number. Again, I called the phone company and explained the situation, asking for a Supervisor. However, this person seemed to hear what I was saying and agreed to adjust the phone bill for the $10.00+ amount. I thanked her and acknowledged her for her good attitude. Then I told her that the other two people had been terrible, and that I wanted to register a complaint, which she listened to, and then apologized, on their behalf. Another matter handled in DO. Thank You, God.

I also called the electric company and confirmed that I had applied and been accepted for an energy subsistence program that would give me $150.00 credit toward my electric bill, so my current two months would be deducted. This is prosperity, because it frees up my income for other purposes. Thank You, God.

I’ve arranged for my payment for teaching classes at church to be applied toward my tithe, so this too frees money that will be useful for Christmas and paying for my record player. God definitely is the Source, and He does provide, in expected and unexpected ways. Thank You, God.

Another bit of business has been to talk with Rev. Evarts about the next year. I’d talked with several members of our group about continuing next year, one Power a month, once a month, and they liked the idea, which was okayed by the minister, so that is taken care of. I’m also thinking about a once-a-month group called “The Promises of Recovery” for those who are going through divorce, and other losses or changes, and relationship issues.

I also felt guided to read part of my Chapter 11: “Moving Mountains and Manifesting Feathers” in my Writers Support Group, since it’s about the group. This way, I can ask their permission to refer to them in my writings.

My life is coming into Order, as I’m preparing for the group and writing this chapter.

Amazing Technology

One night, waiting for the Lift Bus to take me home from a friends, her phone rang. It was an automatic phone call telling her that a taxi, rather than the Lift Bus, would be picking me up in one minute. As she spoke, the taxi appeared, and I climbed in the back seat. As we talked, I asked about the phone call and he explained that he pushes a button on his computer and the call is made. What a unique concept, and definitely another benefit of modern technology, despite the frustrations. In addition, his computer has a map that has been programmed by the office, and it shows him the route from my friend’s home to my door. Amazing!

Speaking of computer technology, I was impressed by the following poem that was sent to me via e-mail, and which applies to the subject of Order:

I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now.

But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow

And as I go along life's way,

I'm reaping better than I sowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven't got a lot of riches,

and sometimes the going's tough

But I've got loving ones all around me,

and that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,

and the mercies He's bestowed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,

My faith wore somewhat thin.

But all at once the dark clouds broke,

and the sun peeped through again.

And may I never be too busy,

to help others bear their loads.

Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

When I think of how many people in this world have it worse

than I do, I realize just how blessed we really are.

So Lord, help me not to gripe,

about the tough rows I have hoed.

I'm drinking from my saucer,

'Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,

When the way grows steep and rough.

I'll not ask for other blessings,

I'm already blessed enough.

I seem to be in a poetic mode today, because that poem reminded me of one that I’ve always cherished, written by a Unity minister, and it applies to Order and Timing:

NO OTHER WAY

By Martha Smock

Could we but see the pattern of our days,

We should discern how devious were the ways

By which we came to this, the presence time,

This place in life: and we should see the climb

Our soul has made up through the years.

We should forget the hurts, the wanderings,

The fears,

The wastelands of our life, and know

That we could come no other way or grow

Into our good without these steps our feet

Found hard to take, our faith found hard to meet.

The road of life winds on, and we

Like travelers go

From turn to turn until we come to know

The truth that life is endless and that we

Forever are inhabitants of all eternity.

Preparation is in DO!

Speaking of Order, today I’m preparing to co-facilitate another class on the Twelve Powers, this one at Christ Light Unity, and I’m thankful for God’s guidance, because I’m starting over with the first two Powers: Faith and Strength, which are in the order that Charles Fillmore presents them in his book “Twelve Powers,” according to the sequence in which the disciples were called by Jesus.

During this same period of time, I will continue facilitating the group at Unity of Portland, while also attending the class on “The Journey that Never Was.” Whew! This requires a lot of reading and preparation, and could be overwhelming, but I’m trusting God’s guidance. Fortunately, I’m reading the material for Divine Order, and all is in DO!

For instance, I talked with Sandra, the spiritual leader for that church, and we are both in alignment and ready. I also have the Lift Bus reserved to take me there, and Sandra will bring me home, if no one else is available.

I am so thankful that I am where I am on my spiritual path, and I feel ready for this next step. In the past, I would not have been able to handle the confusion, but this Power is designed to bring order out of chaos or confusion. Thank You, God, and thank you, James the Younger, the disciple who represents Order, and also Andrew and Peter, brothers who represent Faith and Strength, the Powers for tonight’s class.

I feel myself becoming stronger, while preparing for this week’s events, and I will share the progress, as I move through the week, and bring order out of chaos, as God guides me.

For instance, this morning, while doing my dishes and straightening my kitchen, I played the audio tapes from Lawrence Welk’s “Precious Memories” program of spiritual and gospel music. The recitation of “Footprints in the Sand” seemed appropriate for tonight’s class on Strength, so I asked Sandra for a tape recorder and she said she would bring one from home. Of course, the first class always uses less material than we prepare, because there are logistics, introductions and other matters that consume the time. And I am prepared.

God guided me not to wear the more flamboyant outfits that match the colors of the Powers, I wore at Portland Unity, because it’s getting colder. So, I selected warmer ones: a royal blue sweatshirt and light green pants. This reminds me that I must not rely on what I’ve already presented, but listen to God’s guidance for what is appropriate at this church. It could be entirely different.

Presentation in DO!

Indeed, Christ Light Unity was a different experience, and delightful. As usual, the first session, the logistics, introductions and opening information took time, but amazingly Sandra and I presented our material for Faith and completed on time for the break, then moved on through the Strength material, including “Footprints in the Sand” and were finished ahead of schedule! They even colored their mandalas and loved them. The class went like clockwork; everything in DO!

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m working with the Order energies, or if it’s the consciousness of this group, which includes several ministers. Bottom line, it’s all God’s timing. And happily, I have a ride home each class night for the six weeks, however I’ll take the Lift Bus to the church.

That reminds me of another DO story: the driver got me to the church early and no one was there. Since the church is in a house, I dreaded standing outside in the dark and cold for ten-minutes, so I was delighted when the driver announced that I was his last ride and he would stay parked there, while putting the bus in order and completing his paperwork. Thank You, God.

By the time he was finished, Sandra had arrived and we entered into a warm house, thanks to someone setting the thermostat to start the heat in time for the class.

The Old and the New

As I’m writing, I’m listening to records of the sweet music of Steve Halpern on my new old-fashioned Curtis record player/radio/CD player. I had asked my son, Marquam, to take me to Radio Shack and pick it up, after his work one night. He’d made arrangements to go to his dad’s, but it’s the only time I could work out, so he changed his appointment with his dad.

I also suggested that we could stop at Subway for dinner, but somehow we ended up at Izzy’s for a buffet: $9.95 for his full buffet, and $6.95 for my Salad Bar. Since I’d eaten at the Senior Center, after the Writers Support Group, I didn’t mind economizing on my meal, especially since I hadn’t planned on spending that much for our dinner. Yet, “Everything in DO” and the best part is that I now have my wonderful new record player, which he opened and set up for me.

He was tired, and I had to leave for my Al-Anon meeting, so he didn’t explain the CD player to me, but he did show me how to turn it on, and the radio, tuned to Fish, a religious station, was playing lovely Christmas music.

My heart thrilled that the first sound was such gentle music and I could hardly wait until the next day when I played “Finian’s Rainbow, while getting ready to go on the Grocery Shuttle, and then when I returned and settled down to read my assignments from “The Journey That Never Was,” accompanied by harp music, and then Steve Halpern. Nice!

I stopped writing here to face a new challenge: playing my first CD, pianist Roger Williams, which I’d ordered as a gift when I sent a donation to Crystal Cathedral. Now, as part of DO, I have successfully combined the old and the new, on my Forward Journey. Now, I’m listening to favorites, such as “Amazing Grace, The Sound of Music, The Impossible Dream, From a Distance” and more. My world has really opened up with this wonderful purchase I gave myself permission to buy. Thank You, God. I just know that there are more and more blessings awaiting me, and I can hardly wait to live them, and then share them. My body is literally purring with joy, as the Crystal Cathedral Choir is singing “Amazing Grace.”

Confirmation and Promises of The Holy Spirit

Today I finished reading the assignments, and tonight will be the last class. However, Sunday will be a special treat: the authors, David Paul and Candace Doyle will lead an afternoon workshop in person, and then we’ll celebrate the conclusion of the series with a dinner. I also had to give myself permission to attend the workshop, and now I’m excited. I’ll report on that in the next chapter, because I know it will be special. In the meantime, I still have tonight’s class and tomorrow’s Twelve Powers group to experience and share. Life is thrilling!

I’m searching within myself for words to describe, or summarize, my experience of today’s reading, as it covered everything from “Finding a Life Partner” to “Winning the Lottery” and “The Search for Connection.”

Much was confirmation of what I’ve learned over seventy years of seeking answers and experiencing oneness, and I’ve already written the results, as I’ve lived it.

However, I appreciated the words of the Holy Spirit (the Voice of God) about finding a relationship: “Perhaps this person will not be in the package you have anticipated or may have issues that are very challenging. Perhaps that is the point, and perhaps not. Do not take the next person who steps into your life to be this life partner, but instead allow yourself to become fully ready, fully ripened. When the time comes and this person steps into your life, you will know it. You will have no doubts.”

Yes, I fully believe this. The Holy Spirit continues to speak: “There are many countless rewards in receiving a life partner. Countless does not begin to describe it, and yet becoming a life partner is even more rich. That is the process you are in now. Continue this unfolding of yourself to truly become ready, truly become open, and to know that all good things will be given to you as a result. You need not fear being alone forever, yet that is one of your fears to examine. Many gifts lay ahead of you, and it is important to be open to them so that you do not miss them on your journey.”

The Holy Spirit reveals that what we are all seeking is connection. “This connection can be love and it can be experienced in other ways, including a sense of being connected to something or someone, be it a best friend, a dog, a home, a job, a cause, a partner. Everyone seeks this sense of connection, which is ultimately played out as a part of the awareness of wanting to reconnect with God or with the Oneness. This is the idea that in being connected, one will b happy, fulfilled, peaceful, and feel love or loving.”

Yes! And there is so much more. But, you will want to read “The Journey That Never Was,” because there is so much. Just know that the ultimate answer is not out there, or with someone; it is experiencing Oneness with God, which is the ultimate fulfillment. Once we have that, everything else is the frosting on the cake.

God First!

What I want to report now, in this chapter on Order, is that I’m feeling better than I’ve ever felt, on all levels of my being. Whether it’s from the Homeopathic remedy to offset the effects of barometric changes, or the classes and Twelve Powers, or experiencing my Oneness with God, I don’t know. The Holy Spirit tells me it’s all one and the same. The important thing is that it’s come from within myself, and it hasn’t been dependent on someone else.

Now, I am whole and complete, and meeting my spiritual partner will be an enhancement, but he will not be the rescuer, and my well-being does not depend on him. God first! And all else as God provides, in DO, and according to His time. Thank You, God!

Divine Order

I canceled my appointment with Judy, the Office Manager, via my cell phone, while on the bus, because I was already late. Usually, the bus gets me to the church early for the Group, so I’d planned to discuss the financial logistics with Judy, but obviously it wouldn’t happen this night. As it turned out, Judy was exhausted and happy to able to leave and go home.

I thought about Dottie’s comments about Divine Order, “There is a big difference between our idea of Order and God’s Divine Order.” Isn’t that the truth!

We were talking about the turn of events for getting Airica to the airport. They’d asked Gail, but she wasn’t feeling up to the trip and had called me to discuss her options. We talked about the tools of our recovery program and how to handle it, concluding with the simple communication “I can’t do it.”

Five minutes later my phone rang and it was Cousin John. He was three-hours away, traveling from South Dakota to take us for lunch. We arranged for the next day, and I asked if he could take Airica to the airport. He agreed. What a demonstration of Divine Order. No one knew that Cousin John was on his way, so Dottie and Airica had simply held to the faith that it would all work out, and it did. Thank You, God!

Fortunately, the lift bus got me to church in time to set up for the group.

“Everything in its Season”

I’d been in the Order energies for the entire week, writing most of this chapter, as I went along, and concluding by playing my music tapes that accompany the Order Workshop, which I’m not using in these sessions. However, I’d felt the energies of The Byrd’s “Turn Turn Turn” based Ecclesiastes 3, “For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven” and Jim Croce’s “Time in a Bottle,” among other songs relating to Order, Time and Balance that I’d taped. This had given me the idea to present a once-a-month workshop (the first Saturday of the month), based on the Power for that month, starting in January and going for the entire year.

However, when I mentioned the idea to the group (of four), Para said she had other commitments that Saturday, and the others didn’t respond. Okay, God, is this idea from You, or is it my ego and my grandiosity getting carried away? I know that my Guidance is to focus on presenting the Transformation Course on the website, so obviously God has another Plan. I’ll wait and see what unfolds.

The fact that only four showed up for the group tells me something, and there are still three sessions left, with the holiday season now before us. At first, I’d felt an underlying return to my November Abandonment Syndrome, but I affirmed “Everything in DO,” and we had a great session. The old pattern has changed.

The Garden of Gethsemane Process

I concluded the session with the “Garden of Gethsemane Process,” where we re-create, in our mind, that place where Jesus and the disciples spent many hours together, and talk with Jesus and James The Less, about the subjects relating to Order. Earlier, I’d read James’ Message (which is in the Transformations Twelve Powers Course) that I had received from James, when I’d done this process and asked him about Order. Many questions had been answered and explanations given, so I know this process works, but it’s sometimes difficult to make the connection with Jesus and the disciples, because of our own projections. 

For instance, after the process, Bill expressed concern that this was the time where Jesus was in agony, before the crucifixion, and he felt uncomfortable interrupting Him. I explained that He and the disciples spent many hours there, throughout His ministry. He then felt comfortable with doing the process, some other time. The others also said they would visit in The Garden again, another time, or continue the process later.

There are so many wonderful happenings, during these sessions, such as the fabulous mandalas, each one totally different from the other. And I would be remiss if I failed to mention the added blessing of Dolores’s platter of homemade (with TLC) pumpkin nut cookies with brown sugar-butter icing. How delicious and love-full! In fact, each one brings their gift of love, in one way or another, as they share their lives and their energies. It’s a joy to be with them, and it’s such a healing experience for me, as for each of us.

On the other hand, I’d felt a moment of panic when I realized that Pat, who gives me a ride home, wasn’t there, and I would have to call the lift bus and activate my “Will Call” option. This could be anytime from fifteen-minutes to two hours, depending on the nearest bus. However, I released the matter to God, as I mentioned the dilemma to the group. Bill offered to squeeze me into their pickup and take me home, and then Sheryl asked if I live near an address where she was going. It turned out to be near, and she gave me a ride home. Thank You, God!

The Story Will Continue

So many pieces of my life were coming together, during these Order energies that I realize it will take another chapter to share them, so the next chapter will continue with the Order, and also Strength subjects, which I taught in the Monday class. However, the Thursday group will not meet for two weeks, because of Thanksgiving, yet my life and experiences will continue.