THE PROMISES OF RECOVERY

Chapter 14

I CAN DO ALL THINGS IN CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME

The Pattern Has Changed

Thanksgiving was a powerful and empowering experience this year. For one thing, it was definitely different, and changed patterns and traditions. And the greatest part of that change for me is the Abandonment Syndrome is not running. Thank You, God!

The pattern has been changed from the Loss Factor (people and places being taken away or leaving, to Fulfillment (wonderful people coming into my life and moving forward, as I will share in this chapter).

Creativity: Power and Imagination

I’d spent many hours preparing for the Monday night lesson on Power and Imagination, as usual, but I didn’t use much of the material I’d outlined, because Spirit guided me with a different format, which was powerful. Yet, as I’m writing, I see that God gave me an experiential aide, for this lesson, just getting to the church. 

For instance, I no longer stand outside, in the cold, at the Christ Light Church. Instead, two members, Hugh and Carmelita, offered to pick me up and join with them and Bobbye for a Chinese dinner at Rainbow Dragon.

Yes!

Even the restaurant experience was a pattern change, because when Gail and I had eaten there it was terrible. In fact, Gail still teases me about the place.

Talk about a pattern change: this time the food was fresh and delicious. The service was outstanding, and the company was enchanting, including Mary, who also joined us (it felt like a celebration, as half the members of the class were at the restaurant). In fact, Hugh insisted that I didn’t need to order anything, because there would be plenty with their usual two orders. He was so right; not only did we eat bountifully, but we each took home enough for another meal. Something had definitely changed; probably starting with me and my thinking, which is where creation starts -- in the mind, with our thoughts and words. Whew! What a powerful example for the lesson on Power and Creativity (Imagination).

I’m not aware of any conscious thoughts about the Rainbow Dragon, prior to my first visit, so there is obviously much more involved than random thoughts or words. It’s a matter of consciousness: thinking, feeling, believing, which are based on our experiences and create our reality, which we project out into our universe. And, what we see (in our mind) is what we get. As it’s said, “we think our creation into existence, and that puts the responsibility in here, not out there.

So, we live in our own creation, until we learn that reality is not Truth, and we change our thinking, feeling and believing; and thus we change our creation. I’m so thankful for Unity and Recovery, which have supported me in my Transformation Process. And now, I share with others; that’s called service.

Powerful Tools of Creativity

I’d intended presenting material from Charles Fillmore’s “Twelve Powers,” but kept finding myself reading from my own course, and realized that it’s really quite good.

I talked about The Word and words, and I AM and I am, which are the words (and thoughts) of  creativity. The Word (God) is mind, idea, expression (the Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and I AM is the God indwelling (“Christ in you, your hope of glory” as Paul describes it).

You see, when we say “I am” and attach any words -- positive or negative -- we are speaking the words of our creation, and God gives us what we ask for.

You say “Oh my gosh! I don’t want to take responsibility for my own creation. I know that I didn’t create this!”

I know, but the Good News is that we can change it the same way, by our thoughts and words.

Of course, we don’t even consciously know what thoughts we are unconsciously projecting, because they are based on our past experiences, mostly from childhood, and are buried in our subconscious. Now, our job is to consciously change our thoughts and words; and this will change our creation.

We talked about Powerful Tools, such as affirmations, prayers (especially the Lords Prayer, which has been spoken for hundreds of years, and even has the energies of Jesus and the disciples) and The Ten Commandments, tithing, giving and receiving, forgiveness, thank you and thoughts and words of gratitude and appreciation, walking a labyrinth, and humor. We talked about powerful people, such as Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Isaiah, and Melchizadek from the bible.

After I’d taught the above lesson, in various words, we affirmed and chanted the powerful words: “I Am” and “I AM THAT I AM,” which has a powerful effect on our subconscious. Then we changed the pattern for this group by going into two’s and sharing about the Questions: How have I given away my power? Who have I given my power to? How can I get it back? This format also supports the subconscious (emotions), while the words I spoke went to the conscious (intellect).

Of course, they colored their mandalas, which are also powerful tools, because it keeps the inner child (part of the subconscious) busy, while the words are being consciously heard. I was delighted to hear that one of the gals had downloaded a mandala from my website and also enjoyed coloring at home.

During the break, we ate delicious carrot cake that Sandra had made and brought, which definitely appeals to the inner child part of the subconscious.

By the time we got to Imagination, I felt the lesson on Creativity already had been given, so Sandra shared from her Teachers Manual, which filled in important data about Nathanael, the disciple who represents Imagination and Joseph, the Old Testament example. I shared about Treasure-mapping and other tools for creativity, which I‘ve explained in another chapter, and in the Transformation Course.

I’m Not Left Stranded at the Church

The return trip home presented me with another opportunity for recognizing that my Abandonment Syndrome had been changed. It started at dinner when Mary mentioned that she had ridden with Bobbye and would not be able to take me home. Instead of panic, I cheerfully patted Hugh on the shoulder and affirmed, “Now that you know the way, it’ll be easy for you to swing by my place.”

He didn’t say that he would, but I knew they wouldn’t leave me stranded at the church. In fact, Sandra, who lives the furthest from me, offered to take me home, but she was spared the long trip when Rachel offered, saying it wasn’t too far from where she lives, and we had a chance to get more acquainted on the way.

As I said before, I’m not aware of conscious thoughts that I was projecting, in the past, to create the bottoming-out process I went through for three years, after my divorce. But I do know that it pertained to my previous Abandonment Syndrome, and I know that the recovery process, which I’ve described in my five books on the “Journey of Recovery,” has been a matter of changing those patterns. I also know that God is the one presence and one power, in the universe and in my life, and keeping focused on Him, Jesus, and the positive teachings of Unity and Recovery are the most powerful tools of creativity. I’m not a victim. I am victorious.

“God’s Time is the Best Time”

Of course, ultimately, God’s time is the best time, no matter what the process for getting there, and I’m now going to describe the recent people and events that are happening.

It’s interesting how one thing leads to another, once we take a first step. For instance, in May, I was willing to co-facilitate the Twelve Powers class with Rev. Evarts, adding a few comments about each power to his lesson. After we’d swished through all twelve lessons in four weeks, several gals asked if I would facilitate the twelve-week “Transformations Twelve Powers Support and Study Group, and I gladly agreed, especially since Para was willing to assist me with some of the logistics, such as copying mandalas.

Take the First Step

The group started with twelve and dwindled, over the weeks, as some of the members became overloaded with other activities and classes. In fact, one session there was only one person, but she was delighted, because it was on Power, and she really wanted to focus on that Power. It was Power-full! We leveled off at eight for awhile, and then down to four. But I focused on the value we were each getting, rather than the numbers in the group.

I was also excited because one lady wasn’t able to attend Thursday nights, but she wanted to participate, and was willing to keep up with the group via my website course, which is my ultimate goal: to facilitate the course on-line. So, this was a start, even though she didn’t put much time into the course, due to personal problems. On the other hand, several members of our group became interested in reading my on-line course and gave me feedback. In fact, one gal in the Christ Light Unity class, which I co-facilitate with Sandra, said she printed out the mandalas and is coloring them at home.

Hooray! It’s beginning to happen.

As a result, while talking with the gal who couldn’t attend Thursday nights, I talked about the other parts of my website, such as the prison ministry, and she told me about a local lady who teaches a prison ministry and I contacted her. She’s excited about the material and asked via e-mail “What do we do next?”

I e-mailed back, “Let’s wait until the first of the year, after the holidays.” I knew my plate was full with the two classes, and also the need to prepare promotional material for the groups I plan to begin in January: once-a-month a Saturday afternoon “Transformations Twelve Power Workshop,” based on my course,  co-ordinating with the Power of the month, such as January: Faith.

And the Next Step Will Follow

On Thanksgiving, while attending the church service, I was interested in a new young gal, Doris, mentioning that she had recently divorced and moved here from San Diego. The next Sunday I talked to her, after church, and mentioned that I was thinking about starting a support group for “Women in Recovery,” such as her, and myself, and others. She was delighted, and said she’d had the same idea. We continued to talk and she wanted to attend my next Thursday night session for the Twelve Powers.

She also offered to drive me home from church, so we could have more time to talk. We had so many mutual interests that I invited her to my apartment and showed her some of my books, as I talked about my website project. She became so excited that she committed to working with me. Doris is a high-energy motivated person, and I began to feel hopeful that she was part of the answer to my prayers for moving my website and books forward.

I told her about Brian, a young man who had been attending the “Journey That Never Was” who works for Singulair and who agreed to look at my website and see what he could do with it. So, she e-mailed Brian an enthusiastic “Let’s do it” message, suggesting that it could provide income for us, and the church, as well as offering a community service to prisoners and others.

Whew! I was breathless, as things finally seem to be moving forward, and I keep turning it over to God, knowing that He is guiding us.

By the way, Dolores, my cheerleader, has been waving pom-poms about me and my course to both Doris and Brian. I just know that she and her husband, Bill, in some way are going to be part of this program, once it moves forward and begins producing money. Hooray!

It’s so exciting to let go and let God, and watch how He is putting all this together. It’s for sure I can’t, nor do I know where to go from here. But, Doris is a “Make things Happen” person, and I’m willing to let her do it.

I also know that “I can do all things in Christ who Strengthens Me,” as I’ve been preparing my session on Strength for the Thursday group. On the other hand, I’m wondering whether it will happen, because there are predictions of snow for tomorrow, and things tend to shut down in this area when it snows. We’ll see what God has planned next. It’s already been two weeks since our last session, because of Thanksgiving.

It Came to Pass

The double-ring phone call awoke me from a sound sleep and told me that someone was calling from the security phone by the front door.

It was the Tri-Met Lift driver saying “I’m here for your trip.”

“Where am I going?” I asked, still half asleep.

“You’re going to East County Community Center” he replied.

“Oh my gosh,” I replied, “I forgot.” It was my appointment for the Medicare Meeting where they would explain the changes for the new coverage -- or lack of it. I couldn’t believe that I’d not only forgotten, but I’d slept much later than usual.

“Do you want to cancel?”

“No, no, I’ve got to go. Give me five-minutes.”

I threw on my clothes and got to the bus, but the barometric pressure had changed, with a prediction of snow, and my head pressure and unclear thinking had returned. Not a good thing for this kind of a meeting.

Fortunately, I’d gone to the Naturopathic Clinic for a refill on my Homeopathic Remedy. That’s when I got the bad news that my X-rays showed that I have arthritis in my neck. At first I felt upset, but then I remembered that I don’t have to accept that verdict. After all, the pain in my neck is no longer annoying, so the acupuncture and massage is helping. Also, it turns out that the Homeopathic remedy I’m taking for the barometric changes is also good for arthritis, and they also recommended that I stay off the foods that I know cause me discomfort, for two weeks, which I usually do anyway. So, I’m not buying into the “A-word” as I called it. I’m actually feeling better than ever, and I intend to keep it that way, with God’s help. I’m just so grateful that God has guided me to the treatment that I’m using. Thank You, God. In other words, “it came to pass.”

In fact, it seems that God is giving me opportunities to choose negative experiences, or reject them.

For instance, when the speaker began presenting the information about the new Medicare program, I went into overload. I simply couldn’t get the input into my internal computer, and I felt that same helpless feeling of childhood, when being asked to “take care of your mommie, Joanie.” I was willing, but simply not able to carry out that order. In truth, it wasn’t up to me to take care of my mother, but I didn’t know that, and I carried the guilt from her “going crazy” because I thought I hadn’t fulfilled my responsibility.

I’ve finally been freed from that syndrome, but God was giving me another opportunity to choose how I would respond.  Fortunately, I learned that I need to contact my caseworker about this, and much of the input was for others. Yet, for some reason the symptoms continued until I left the room, and then they cleared up.

I suspect that, since I am sensitive to the energies around me, I was picking up on the energies from others in the room, which was triggering my Abandonment Syndrome. The fact remains that seniors are losing a vital part of their lives, when it comes to the new policy relating to prescriptions that are no longer going to be covered.

I’m fortunate that I don’t require prescriptions. I pay for my own natural remedies. But I feel sorry for those who feel dependent on their medications. Perhaps, in the long run, this will bring many people away from them, and their side-effects, and they will discover the value of natural remedies. Yet, people are so dependent on their doctors and medications that they are afraid to do anything different. They don’t realize that Chinese, and the American Indians, and many other cultures have been using natural herbs, acupuncture and other remedies, including spiritual treatments, such as meditation, visualization and prayers for eons.

However, it’s not up to me to change the world, as I once thought, thanks to the edict: “take care of your mommie, Joanie.” Thanks to my recovery program, I’ve learned that my job is to take care of myself, and allow others to do the same; if they ask me, I’ll tell them what I do; otherwise it’s not up to me. And that is  definitely a good tool for Strength: taking care of myself.

Tools For Strength

Speaking of “tools for Strength,” after two weeks, we were returning to our Transformations Twelve Powers Study and Support Group that night and when I called to verify my pick-up time, I was told that I didn’t have a ride.

Oh my goodness! God was sure giving me a workout. I could choose to panic, or I could choose to do something about it. I called Linda, who does the scheduling, but she didn’t answer; and she didn‘t call back. She didn’t answer the next two calls either, so I called the alternate scheduler, but I was told that neither of them were there for the day. Okay, God, what’s going on?

Taking care of myself, I called the Tri-Met Customer Service person and explained my dilemma, including the fact that I’m the teacher and I have to be there. In other words, another tool for Strength, I went to someone who could do something about it. It took some time, but she arranged for my ride, and I arrived on schedule. Thank You, God!

I’d planned an entirely different presentation, but God guided me to share my story about the events of the day, which I did. Then I began talking about tools for Strength and asked them what tools they use, while they colored their mandala for Strength.

My new friend, Doris, who is going to help with my website, etc., had brought her roommate, and there was also another new person, so we had seven in the group who shared wonderful stories of overcoming their hardships and the tools they used. Someone talked about giving service, or giving of any kind. Other tools were singing, releasing, being in the now, faith and trust, conviction, and affirming, “All is good.” And the same tools that are used for Power are helpful for Strength, such as prayer, meditation, and silence. Of course there are many, many more, and everyone finds what gives them strength. As someone said, “experience can be a source of strength too.

The Energy of Strength

More tools for Strength are knowing the color, light green, and using its energies in meditation, and asking the disciple, Andrew, to help strengthen. The location for Strength that Charles Fillmore gave was the lower back and adrenals. Dr. Robert Knapp expands the location to include the spinal cord and neck, and the nerves that come from there into the muscles of the neck, shoulders, back and hip; all areas where I have pain, because that’s where I accumulate stored energy relating to Strength, such as responsibility, courage, conviction, integrity. As I’m writing, I can see that the “take care of your mommie,” syndrome definitely relates to responsibility, and a feeling of weakness verses empowerment related to the “I can’t do it” pattern. Wow! Thank You, God.

I must admit that in the two weeks I’ve been working with Strength, not only has the pain subsided, but it’s done so without the assistance of massage, because I was unable to get appointments. Maybe God wanted me to discover that I can be healed with these energies, and by the grace of God, which is another tool.

The Value for this Group

I’d taken my portable stereo and played “Footprints in the Sand,” and I read the poem “Don’t Quit,“ as I’d done for the Monday group, but I didn‘t discuss the usual subjects, because the value for this group seemed to be in sharing. However, Para read from the new “Twelve Powers” book by Charles Fillmore and she closed with a wonderful meditation from the book.

Of course, we affirmed the bible verses: “I am strong in the lord and the power of His might,” “the joy of the lord is my strength,” and “I can do things in Christ who strengthens me.”

The Snow is a “No Show”

In addition to the above-mentioned challenges I went through this day, there was also the threat of snow, which meant the class would have been canceled, because Portland shuts down when it snows. However, the snow was a “No Show” as they said on the News, which I’d watched to see the weather forecast for the next day. Again, Thank You, God!

The final blessing of the day came with Doris giving me a ride home, although it’s out of her way. However, we were both happy that we could chat, and she explained that she’d been busy furnishing her home, so she had not put any time into the projects this week, nor had she heard from Brian.

I assured her that I’m aware that “Everything is in DO and God’s good time.”

It’s time to end this chapter, as the month of November is coming to an end, and we are entering a new month and a new season.